Here, Eudoxie, take my bear skin... since from now on I will not have the pleasure any more to wear it, I give it to you to make a muff out of it... This way I have at least the satisfaction of seeing it from time to time

Here is a good one! The guard who has a drink... should have told us, we would have paid you a drink, old warrior! The authority is refreshing himself…. hello Gugusse…. whose turn is it to fish the authority out of the water?

Mr.Lifeguard.... is it true there are sharks at Dieppe? - Of course... but it is pretty simple... as soon as you see one coming to eat you, all you have to do is lay down sideways. He won't eat you for fear of choking to death.

The Baliff's Man. They call us enemy of liberty. What are those cadets there complaining about!... they are being chauffeured around, and they have a valet behind them. What a way to behave!

Sir... here is what we will be giving this year as a bonus to the subscribers of the Musical Universe... 125 albums that you can have bound, some more magnificently than others. Eleven portraits of Mr. Musard, at differfent ages, but always with the same black suit. Three trumpets, more or less in key. Forty admission tickets, even exit tickets, for each of our concerts...Eighty seven musical scores...and a reed pipe.

Preparing for the baccalaureate. - There are two ways in which you might pass your exams: the first way is to let someone else take your place; the second is to take them yourself. - I would like to take them myself. - Very good!... Do you know Greek? - No. - Latin? - None the more. - Excellent!... Do you know your Math? - Not at all. - What do you know then? - Nothing. - But you've 200 francs? - Of course! - Splendid... You'll be passed next Thursday. - You mean you're going to prepare me in eight days? - What do you think!!!!... It's true that I've taken on the responsibility for your success, but for teaching you... Oh no! Certainly not!!

Doctor Robert Macaire's clinic. - There you are gentlemen, the surgery I performed was a full success, while everybody considered it to be impossible. - But doctor, the patient is dead! - So what... ..she would have died sooner or later anyway.

A visit to the Library. - Listen woman... they have told us not to disturb the people sitting here, because they are working. - What do you mean working... they are just feigning to be working... in reality they aren't moving at all! --- Visitors from the province who insist on overlooking Paris from the top of the July Column, convinced that the revolution of 1830 was only made in order to have a pretext to build an observatory on the Place de la Bastille.

Let's go away from here, guide, let's leave. I must have been out of my mind to leave Paris and travel 300 miles, just to stand over an abyss of 400 feet in the Pyrenees. Let's go away from here, guide, as fast as possible!

Here is your account: I owed you 150'000 Francs; I already have given you a downpayment of 100 Francs, plus another 50 Francs later, which makes the total 150 Francs. I now give you another 1'000 Francs, which brings the total to 150'000. Please be so kind to sign that we are even now.

Here is a good one! The guard who has a drink... should have told us, we would have paid you a drink, old warrior! The authority is refreshing himself…. hello Gugusse…. whose turn is it to fish the authority out of the water?

The Ladies' Bath. Yes, my dear, it is just the way I have the honour of telling you. I was pregnant with him for eleven months and people thought I was dropsical. Would you believe that this is already six years ago? He takes after his father, drum-major of the 6th legion. Sings the Marseillaise (national anthem) by heart and has a drink in the morning like a real fire-fighter. Oh, my little darling, come here and give your mother a kiss!