The other day, I pulled off another smart trick... I had set up a firm with a capital of ten million francs to exploit top boots in cardboard ... I had placed only eight shares worth a petty 1200 francs... I called together my eight shareholders and held forth in something like the following manner: "Ah! Good-day ye strolling gentlemen, how handsome you are, how fine you seem!" I promised them more cheese than bread, I gave them a 50% dividend, I warmed them up a bit and let them simmer... The following day they couldn't get hold of my shares fast enough, I placed all of them and at the next meeting I said: "The last time I did the books I made a mistake. I forgot to take into account the price of the cardboard and its fabrication. You must return the dividend I gave you, I'm going to hold it back... I put down nothing and kept back the r

My dear, since we won't have enough time to see everything in one day, you should look at the pictures on the right while I'll look at the ones on the left, and when we get home, we'll tell each other everything we saw.

Delighted to find himself on show, the original takes his wife to the exhibition, and places her before his image to enjoy the opinion of the crowd. - Look, some say, it's the Chinese commissioner Lin! - No, others say, don't you see, it's natural history! - It's... resumes one gentleman in possession of the catalogue, it's the portrait of Mr. D..... insurance broker: - Oh well, with a bonce like that he doesn't need to insure himself, he'll not easily be snatched up. (Madame, his wife, leaves exceedingly flattered)

Come on you scoundrel, come on! - Just you wait, you crook! - Oh come on Alfred, after all you know each other already for some twenty years! When you are friends, it's different than when you are not friends.

Exploiting friendship. My dear Alphonse, I've invited these gentlemen, my friends, to dine at your home. I would like them to taste our champagne, we'll laugh... wait a minute! I've an idea. What if we went to the wood? We could take your barouche and you could lend us some clothes as we only came to pay a simple visite... In the meantime, why don't you give us some cards and some Napoleons to pass the time. Eh? My good Alphonse, dear chap. How about it?

When one's portrait is exhibited at the Salon. - It's flattering, isn't it Eudoxie, to be shown like this in public, and I don't regret the 200 francs it has cost us... there is a man looking at us... he seems to think highly of us! - (The art student): How can anybody have the nerve to sit for a portrait with a face like that!