I Am Ready

The other day, I pulled off another smart trick... I had set up a firm with a capital of ten million francs to exploit top boots in cardboard ... I had placed only eight shares worth a petty 1200 francs... I called together my eight shareholders and held forth in something like the following manner: "Ah! Good-day ye strolling gentlemen, how handsome you are, how fine you seem!" I promised them more cheese than bread, I gave them a 50% dividend, I warmed them up a bit and let them simmer... The following day they couldn't get hold of my shares fast enough, I placed all of them and at the next meeting I said: "The last time I did the books I made a mistake. I forgot to take into account the price of the cardboard and its fabrication. You must return the dividend I gave you, I'm going to hold it back... I put down nothing and kept back the r

He Could Feel the Dog's Breath

Oh dear.... they didn't even review my novel in today's paper! These journalists are spending their time writing about rabbits.... partridges.... geese!.... and they don't write about me... that's inconceivable!

Jasim Was in a Cage

This morning before dawn / A God came to wake me up / The curtains they were drawn / And my snoring had to stop / It is your daddy's birthday, / A time for gifts and flowers / To be placed on his head so gray / Instead of his morning showers.

Here Starts the Tragedy

Listen carefully! If you are being asked for arabic Racahout to fatten all kinds of sultanas (women in a harem), for arabian Nafé for suckling children of all ages, for oriental Kaiffa to cure gastritis or corns, for Theobrome against vomiting, for Amandine, Indostane, Osman-Iglou, Paraguay-Roux, Criosote, Chocolat of Salep, Hypocras, white mustard to treat black moods, tooth ache and overweight, or Giant Cabbage seed, you will find it all in this bag, make no mistake!! You can sell it as a powder, ointment, solution or pellets, as you see fit. - Damnit! What kind of pellets are these anyway? - They are fool's pellets of the highest quality. - Splendid, splendid!

He Was Happy on That Day

Robert Macaire, sollicitor. - We've won, my dear fellow, won on every count! - And about time too. A case which has lasted ten years and has ruined me! - Better late than never! - How much did I get back in the end? - Here you are: The court awarded you 12'000 Fr, we totalled 13'500 Fr in expenses, you only owe me 1'500 Fr. - But that means I lose 1'500 Fr . - Yes, but you've won your case.

From Here the Tragedy Started

A visit to the Library. - Listen woman... they have told us not to disturb the people sitting here, because they are working. - What do you mean working... they are just feigning to be working... in reality they aren't moving at all! --- Visitors from the province who insist on overlooking Paris from the top of the July Column, convinced that the revolution of 1830 was only made in order to have a pretext to build an observatory on the Place de la Bastille.